North Korea is downright angry over reports that it had executed several state performers to cover up the lurid, decadent past of its first lady Ri Sol-Ju, wife of youthful despot Kim Jong-Un.

Pyongyang denounced the “reptile media”, in particular, Japan’s Asahi Shimbum which reported that several members of the North’s Unhasu Orchestra and other state music troupes had been executed by firing squad for taping themselves having sex.  Ri Sol-Ju was a member of that orchestra.  The newspaper cited a “high-ranking North Korean government official who recently defected”.

One of the reportedly executed performers was a former girlfriend of Kim.

The defector supposedly said the performers were caught on wiretaps discussing their escapades, and making clear that Ri was involved.

“This is an unpardonable, hideous provocation hurting the dignity of the supreme leadership,” screamed a statement from North Korea’s official state media, not exactly known for its understated and calm reportage.

Kim Jong-Un’s wife has been seen at his side at official events, usually wearing stylish, expensive-looking outfits and a Christian Dior handbag, in a country plagued by widespread chronic poverty.