The UN demands an investigation into a reported massacre in Myanmar – Berlusconi is investigated for allegedly paying off witnesses at his teen prostitution trial – Justin Biener is still a you-know-what – And.. Lavender Crab.  Lavender Crab.

More than 30 Rohingya Muslims were attacked and killed by mobs in Myanmar’s Rakhine state in recent days.  The government is denying claims of a massacre, but two international aid officials found evidence of a mass killing.  United Nations humanitarian chief Valerie Amos is calling on the Myanmar government to allow aid workers into the area and to “immediately launch an impartial investigation” into the events.

The International Criminal Court is postponing the trial of Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta for three months.  The prosecution wanted more time to prepare after one of its witnesses withdrew and another admitted to giving false evidence.  Kenyatta denies allegations he organized ethnic violence surrounding the presidential election in 2007.  More than 1,200 people died.

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is under fresh investigation.  This time, prosecutors want to know if he paid off women to lie in court at his trial for having sex with a teenage prostitute.  Berlusconi was convicted and given a seven-year sentence plus a lifetime ban from politics.  He is appealing the ruling.

In the UK, striker Nicolas Anelka plans to fight the Football Association’s charge over his use of the quenelle gesture, which is regarded as anti-Semitic by anyone with a functioning brain.  Anelka, who faces suspension from five to ten games, claims he did it as a shout-out to his pal French comedian Dieudonne M’Bala M’Bala (who is also regarded as anti-Semitic by anyone with a functioning brain).  Meanwhile, two more sponsors are reportedly about to bail out on Anelka’s team West Bromwich Albion, because of the offensive gesture (which despite denials of anti-Semitism is all the rage with idiots).

Ecuadorian airline Tame has halted flights to Venezuela, demanding nearly A$50 Million in overdue payments for tickets.  Tame says the central bank in Caracas hasn’t transferred any money since April, 2013.  The sudden move left dozens of passengers stranded at South American airports.

The Argentine Peso took a nosedive, falling 11 percent.  It’s the Peso’s steepest daily decline since the country's devastating 2002 financial crisis, extending the previous day's losses as the central bank gave up its battle against the peso's decline.  It came after Argentina attempted to stem the flight of foreign currency with a new tax and import regulations on Internet commerce.  People reacted by scrambling for US Dollars, devaluing their own money in the process.

Scrawny little Justin Bieber did an overnighter in the Miami-Dade clink in southern Florida, charged with street racing a rented Lamborghini around Miami Beach, resisting arrest without violence, and driving with an expired license.  It’s the latest example of “over-privileged little jerk” behavior from the wealthy teen idol, previously accused of causing US$20,000 damage to a neighbor’s house near Los Angeles.  After a televised bail hearing (American “news” networks actually interrupted programming to cover it live), Bieber waved a spindly arm at fans who gathered outside the courthouse and was whisked away by his entourage, which no doubt is now wondering how long this gravy train will last.

It may be the only one of its kind – A Japanese wholesaler opened up a shipment of live King Crabs destined for restaurants.  One of them was Lavender.  Marusan Mikami Seafood President Kenetsu Mikami said, “I’ve been dealing with crabs for 25 years, but this is the first time to see that color.  It could be a good omen.”  And it came from Russia, so you can’t blame it on Fukushima.  Crustaceans occasionally show up in some wild color schemes, but this could be the first Lavender Crab.  No one’s going to eat that crab, the company will keep him in his own tank.  Jailed in solitary – is that really better than being released back into the ocean?